Long Time No Laugh

“SOMETIMES WAKING UP MEANS THE BEST PART OF YOUR DAY IS ALREADY OVER…” Hello everybody…or everybody left…or nobody at all… I’m sorry it has been so long since I’ve put new, fresh stories, material, and jokes up on the site. It’s been a crazy time here, and much of my time has been eaten up

Obituaries

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they said HOW the person died…

Constipated

I think I’m emotionally constipated…I haven’t given a crap in days!

Lions

I feel bad for lions at the zoo. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and left without you getting to eat them?

Insult To Injury

I think the easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing a cast…

Ke$ha

Ke$ha: weak music choice…strong password choice

Animal Abuse

I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials, just so she knows how good she has it…

Muffin Top

At what point does a “muffin top” become a “busted can of biscuits”?

Ussie

I just learned that a “selfie” with more than 1 person is called an “ussie”…if you need me, I’ll be burning my dictionaries and crying.

Social Media

When I was a kid, “social media” involved reading the graffiti on the stalls in public bathrooms….