Monday Alibi Archive

Your weekly get-out-of-work-free card.


I walked into a spider web on the way out the door and couldn’t find the spider…so I had to go inside and shower again.

Today’s Excuse – Kidnapped

My brother-in-law has been kidnapped by a Mexican Drug Cartel…I need to stay home with the family in case we get a call.

Today’s Excuse – Locked In

I lost my keys and was locked inside my apartment until someone could unlock the door.

Today’s Excuse – AntiFreeze

I drank some antifreeze by mistake, and need to go to the hospital

Today’s Excuse – Snacking

I can’t come in today due to a near-fatal vending machine accident…

Today’s Excuse – Toe Jam

“I got my big toe stuck in the bathtub faucet…again…”

Today’s Excuse – Overdrawn

I donated too much blood.

Today’s Excuse – Arthritis

My arthritis is acting up. There is probably going to be a terrible storm. Safer if we all stay home.

Today’s Excuse – Brained

My psychic told me to stay home.

Today’s Excuse – Burned Out

My wife burned all my clothes and I have nothing to wear to work.